Professor Stephen H. Webb, in his jeremiad "How Soccer is Ruining America" attempts to the naked eye to bash the sport of soccer,claiming that soccer is ruining America. He does this by listing the arguments of the people who believe that this sport is destroying this nation, and sarcastically agrees with them. As he writes this article he seemingly agrees with all of the outrageous arguments made by others. In the first three paragraphs he bashes soccer say it is "running America into the ground." He is very explicit about his feelings towards soccer and how boring and pointless it is. He also uses several similes like, "The linear 2-dimensions of soccer is like the rocking of a boat but without any storm." This similes are to further develop his opinions towards soccer which in reality as humorous because he in fact believes the exact opposite. He is almost making fun of the outrageous claims made by others to write a humorous article on the silly belief that soccer is ruining America.
Webb, to support his argument gives 4 major points the first being soccer is a game played with feet. Feet are nasty and dirty where as hands are divine and holy. God gave us hands and more importantly thumbs and we should use them. He adds in this paragraph that at the last supper Jesus washes feet instead of hands because feet are in need of "redemption." As well as people can even talk with their hands, have you every seen someone try to talk with their feet? To first time readers this is infuriating because his claim does not even support his argument at all. This almost becomes humorous to the reader and could make them second guess the authors point of view on the subject.
The second point of his jeremiad is that soccer does not break kids down enough before bringing them back up. He says that soccer is making children less competitive and, overall, softer. Coaches use different methods to try and get the most out of their players. The method of tearing kids down is to show them and tell them that they are not good enough which will make them work harder to get better but often this is not a good way to make make kids work harder. Sometimes kids should just be praised and as a parent reads this it would make them angry to think that their kids were weak and soft and that the only way for them to get strong is to be yelled at. This would make many parents mad because this is a very opinionated thing to say. He also goes on to say how difficult and physically demanding baseball is, which many people disagree with with and think it is outrageous that he believes soccer makes you soft. This of course is all opinionated and meant to sound humorous even most people believe he is being serious.
The third point that Webb makes is based on the origins of soccer which is in Europe. He explains that soccer is a European sport based on death and despair, and Americans would never create a sport like this. This argument just does not make any sense and is a very ignorant thing to say, which would offend all soccer players both from Europe and the US. This claim has no data and no reason what does he get from saying this besides purposefully trying to make people mad and be humorous.
His fourth point made is that soccer is a sport meant for girls. This would be the icing on the cake to get women around the world kicking and screaming in frustration. Talking about the differences between sexes and especially that only certain sports should be played by them will forever outrage women who want to be treated the same as men and consider themselves equals. The point of this jeremiad is not to infuriate people with his opinions but to make fun of the opinions of others.
In the closing paragraph the author finishes with his final statements as a last chance for anyone trying to discover the true meaning of this article. He starts by stating good things about soccer in a bad way like when he talks about overworked parents and their overweight children, Americans are more inclined to use soccer as a means of distracting their children in a seemingly good way. In the last paragraph of the essay, the author appeals to ethos by revealing to the reader that he should know of the issues of the American family because he has one himself. His daughters play soccer, and enjoy it even though it is boring to watch and it is relaxing to let his kids run around for a bit. This makes the reader wonder why he would bash soccer if his own family participates in it. Finally he ends the article by saying after every game his family goes home happy so by now if the reader has not seen the humor then that will show them the humor in it all. Webb's article was meant to make other people claims sound ridiculous and it did. The whole point of the article is to take peoples opinions and make fun of them and use their opinions to create an article that would be sound insane. His article was so good some people took it article seriously.
Webb, to support his argument gives 4 major points the first being soccer is a game played with feet. Feet are nasty and dirty where as hands are divine and holy. God gave us hands and more importantly thumbs and we should use them. He adds in this paragraph that at the last supper Jesus washes feet instead of hands because feet are in need of "redemption." As well as people can even talk with their hands, have you every seen someone try to talk with their feet? To first time readers this is infuriating because his claim does not even support his argument at all. This almost becomes humorous to the reader and could make them second guess the authors point of view on the subject.
The second point of his jeremiad is that soccer does not break kids down enough before bringing them back up. He says that soccer is making children less competitive and, overall, softer. Coaches use different methods to try and get the most out of their players. The method of tearing kids down is to show them and tell them that they are not good enough which will make them work harder to get better but often this is not a good way to make make kids work harder. Sometimes kids should just be praised and as a parent reads this it would make them angry to think that their kids were weak and soft and that the only way for them to get strong is to be yelled at. This would make many parents mad because this is a very opinionated thing to say. He also goes on to say how difficult and physically demanding baseball is, which many people disagree with with and think it is outrageous that he believes soccer makes you soft. This of course is all opinionated and meant to sound humorous even most people believe he is being serious.
The third point that Webb makes is based on the origins of soccer which is in Europe. He explains that soccer is a European sport based on death and despair, and Americans would never create a sport like this. This argument just does not make any sense and is a very ignorant thing to say, which would offend all soccer players both from Europe and the US. This claim has no data and no reason what does he get from saying this besides purposefully trying to make people mad and be humorous.
His fourth point made is that soccer is a sport meant for girls. This would be the icing on the cake to get women around the world kicking and screaming in frustration. Talking about the differences between sexes and especially that only certain sports should be played by them will forever outrage women who want to be treated the same as men and consider themselves equals. The point of this jeremiad is not to infuriate people with his opinions but to make fun of the opinions of others.
In the closing paragraph the author finishes with his final statements as a last chance for anyone trying to discover the true meaning of this article. He starts by stating good things about soccer in a bad way like when he talks about overworked parents and their overweight children, Americans are more inclined to use soccer as a means of distracting their children in a seemingly good way. In the last paragraph of the essay, the author appeals to ethos by revealing to the reader that he should know of the issues of the American family because he has one himself. His daughters play soccer, and enjoy it even though it is boring to watch and it is relaxing to let his kids run around for a bit. This makes the reader wonder why he would bash soccer if his own family participates in it. Finally he ends the article by saying after every game his family goes home happy so by now if the reader has not seen the humor then that will show them the humor in it all. Webb's article was meant to make other people claims sound ridiculous and it did. The whole point of the article is to take peoples opinions and make fun of them and use their opinions to create an article that would be sound insane. His article was so good some people took it article seriously.